Valentine’s Day from a Single Girl’s Perspective
In case you are living under a rock, today is Valentine’s Day. The one day that single people are treated like they have just been diagnosed with a deadly disease. Or you’re told that Jesus is your valentine or Facebook statuses state they are praying for those who are alone (i.e. single and pathetic) on this day that love is celebrated. While attempting to “comfort” those who are single, they do the exact opposite.
Valentine’s Day can put pressure on single people that is simply unnecessary. Last night in youth group, I used Valentine’s Day as a theme for my lesson. It was actually a fun night. And the history of Valentine’s Day is fascinating. We played name that tune of songs with the word “love” in the title. (As a side-note…kids don’t know good music these days…none of them knew the Beatles song “All You Need is Love”). I asked the teens “What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?” One junior higher answered “the day that kids are allowed to make out in the halls and teachers look the other way.” Another junior high kid said “the day you realize you are pathetic and all by yourself.”
One of the young adults told me that today is also known as Single Awareness Day (Acronym S.A.D.). He and his friends decided to embrace it and are going out to dinner to celebrate S.A.D. and then go watch the most violent movie they could find. That’s awesome! 🙂
But what do I really think about being a single on a couple’s day? Am I lonely? Do I need to be told that Jesus is my Valentine? Does it make me sad? Not at all. I do not see singleness as a disease. Some of the loneliest people I have met are people who are married. One of my favorite stories of my Bible College mentor (who was a single lady in ministry) was when she called me into her office. We were talking about life and being a single woman in ministry. I asked her if she ever got tired of people trying to fix her up. She said “did you ever notice that the people who try to fix you up are the ones that are the most unhappily married people. I guess it’s true, misery loves company.” Haha!! She was totally being funny but it made me laugh! And it showed me that she was content on where God brought her in life.
Apostle Paul says in the book of Philippians on how he had learned to be content in whatever situation he found himself in. I have learned the same thing. I am content with where God has led me. In fact, I feel very fulfilled. I don’t feel lonely or less than because I don’t have someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with.
Family and friends have asked me if I want to get married. To be 43 and not having ever been married is not the norm in our society. People think you’re either gay or have deep emotional issues (the latter may be true 😉 ). But the truth is, I don’t think about it much. I just live life. Fully. Passionately. Without excuses. There are times that I would like to get married (two incomes and having someone to help with things around the house would be amazing 😉 ) but most of the time I love the freedom of being single. I do know that I do not want to get married just to be able to say I’m married or to have a Valentine. But if the right one came along and loved Jesus more than anything and enjoyed baseball and laughing and Bruce Springsteen and brought me chocolate covered strawberries then I’d consider it! 🙂
All this being said…I want to wish everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day or a Happy S.A.D.! Tell someone you love them and eat lots of chocolate…now that’s a holiday I can get behind!